I have another confession to make, well actually its really not a confession but, I don't know how it is  to be called so I'll just going to say that it is a confession kinda like.

Anyways!

Last night was a wake up call and maybe a reminiscing point of some kind of a feelings that I almost forget. My Pangga and I once again kissed. I repeat ONCE AGAIN KISSED. And take note! It's in the lips. Hmm, maybe not so intimate as it is but I can say that, that kind of kiss that I received last night( October 17, 2014) is like the first time that I have ever kissed him, but in a better and likeable way.

It was oozing and heaven like feeling because I care about my Pangga more than any of my friends, just like I once said to him that he is much important to me than my other friends.

So, ofcourse! After the kiss I feel vulnerable about my self again and It seems like everything was just yesterday.

I still can't forget the feeling of how we we're so close back then.

I'm still hoping that one day everything can turn back to normal just like the old times.

You know that feelings when you were in the middle of your happiness then all of a sudden your mood changes because of something majorly bad happened in your life. Well, I kinda felt that yesterday morning, (October 10, 2014, about 3:00 am - 5:00 am) while I was still with my friends having the time of our life and just making the last until we got drunk.

I lost the money for my last payment for my tuition fee, I lost 17k while having fun. I never expected that to happen because the whole 17k was in my panties and It is secured for me rather than putting it on my wallet.

I never realize that It was missing until I was about to buy some Graham balls. I were planning to buy 200 worth of graham balls then when I touch the middle part of my panties, everything is flat and I can't feel no folded money on my underwear.

At that point I was in a full swing, I'm panicking myself up, I'm shaking and I'm already freaking out, crying my head off and I am totally adrift of the situation that I never expected to happened ever in my entire life.

Things went so fast, the money were like only 10 hours on my care then completely vanished after that. I am speechless the time it had happened.

The other thing that really makes me cry at that moment, is that for the first time ever, I have tried to feel the real meaning and essence of "DISAPPOINTMENT" I am devastated and i just want to scream all the anger that is on me the moment occur.

After loosing all the hopes in me, I went home and I admit immediately to my mother that I lost the money. 

I don't want to tell everything after that because it is too personal to tell and it is not good for the readers to read.

I'm just happy for the way that I part my hair because it really describe me as who I really am.

Actually the Title is not really relevant to my dream. 

 Ladies and Gentlemen, I hate to cut it for you but you still need to click the "Read More" to see who's my latest celebrity crush.

Yes! After the short notice that I recently posted here (well, because it's a little late than usual) so... last September 24, 2014 until early dawn of September 25, 2014 we were together in lakay.

While my other friend and Baby were playing billiards for so much time already since I first arrive, I decided to go to other set of friends that I have in the same place and in the same time. 

I ask if maybe, I can go to my other friends first until they finish playing that time and as I wish they just let me to go there and have some shots already.

Then after a shot or two, in no particular time, Pangga pulled my I don't know type of  sleeveless yellow denim top and ask if where is our table and then I suddenly said that "We don't have table yet, It's me and baby with jc only and as you can see they're still playing so I jump in here to have some shots"

Pangga said that we need to separate table already because he has a friend with him namely "Kevin" so I immediately told my other set of friends that I have to go because my friends who I'm going to spend the night with was already there.

We throw each other kisses (not the literal throw) and they said their goodbyes and some of them had told me a pleasant hand gesture because we just met that night.

As we go to other table, I first introduce myself (which really happens all the time) to Kevin because he's a breathe of a fresh air to me (meaning as a new face) and my "Super-Being-Talkativeness" occur at that moment and I never stop until baby sit right next to me.

Well of course as I promise to apologize for my part, I utter my sincere apology for my baby for being over acting the night we argued.

And then as I expected, he forgive me. (well of course he can't resist to not forgive me because he love me. haha, Kidding baby! I love you :*)

So it went fabulous as my make up that night, everything were so smooth until we transfer back to my other set of friend's table for merging kinda thing and the issue of me and baby's argument went up to be the topic of the table.

I really don't know what happened but it comes roughly and I don't want to hear anything anymore so I decided to go home already. I left them there with no more notice that I'm already going.

So that's it for today, moving on....

P.S. After that night, I texted my baby the next day first thing when I woke up and he just said don't mind it anymore because he just don't want to stress himself up with such non sense things.

It's been such a rush that I never seen coming way back since we got okay with each other and I never thought that we will be going back to this situation again. 

Hi guys! Good Day! This would be just short because I can't remember how my dream started and it just too blurry for me to remember. So, here goes nothing. 

I am so Happy that my birthday is at the same day with the Designated competing day of  UAAP Cheer Dance Competition, because it makes my birth date as the most awaited day for every single college student who are related with the UAAP & NCC School especially those people who are related with Cheer Dance.

It feels like everyone is celebrating my birthday in the Big Dome and everyone is cheering up for the most awaited day where their Cheer dancers perform for me by impressing me.

But anyways, the big deal yesterday was when I get to bond with at least few friends yet I am so happy like never before, I am so contented with them and I even get the most amazing gift ever in my life and it is by attending for the first time ever on the Annual UAAP Cheer Dance Competition and I promise to attend every year but I'm not going to fall in line for almost 9 hours outside the big dome.

The feeling was so stressing, so tiring and frustrating because falling in line gives you so much pain, foot pain, neck pain, shoulder pain, leg pain, back pain, head pain, make up pain, and more. I just don't want to make it look exaggerating because it is part of the process of getting a last batch of tickets. and I don't have any choice because I never prioritize it at the first place.

But now that it is all done, I have surpass the hardness of falling in line for almost 9 hours, I have made it to watch for the first time live and I just feel wonderful about it after all because making it on the day of the competition and making it by not going home, I'm okay. And I am just so thankful to God who inspire everyday of my life to not give up and thank you that even the rain is pouring so much I can feel that it was just a big blessing coming for me.

Yesterday for me was the most amazing day for this year, not only because it's the UAAP Cheer Dance Competition but also because It's MY BIRTHDAY!

I am just so happy that for the first time I get to experience that feeling of being in the live event of the Annual UAAP Cheer Dance Competition.

It feels so good, so intense and at the same time it is thrilling and exciting.
here is the little video that I made after all the pictures that I gathered from my friends and mine as well.

UAAP EXPERIENCE

See you :*

For those of you who keep on asking me why I post every single dream that I have whenever I wake up in the morning and how come I can still remember the whole dream, the answer is....

Yesterday Morning around 9:00 - 10:00 AM I was still fully awake from a Party that me and friends have. 

While scooting and running around, on one street I suddenly see two skater boys who skate with me like there is a competition I over power to the of them and they lost because I was at the first among us three and I guess that makes them both angry because they also chase me like the first guy in my story.

So yes, I run and run until I can because this time it's not just one but two guys are now actually chasing over me, then while running I saw this little exit that I can hide from and when I was about to hide, there is someone going down from the upper part of the exit so I get out of it and it gives me short notice to run because they nearly catch me to that point.

But I kept on running, I was never using my scooter anymore because that may slow me down and I don't want to get chase by two random jerk who cannot beat a girl like me.

And in one narrow street, the two guys decided to split up, one guy headed straight while the other one who notices me catching my breathe staying in the middle of that narrow street, he cut and turn back at me. At that moment he is on about to catch me but just like what I love to do especially because it brings my curiosity out, I started climbing windows, light post, and even balcony from one to another. 

Well I guess he's not that good because he never catches me, I was so furious jumping roof to another, I was swinging to large kind of clothes wire then the last drop that I have is I almost fall to the guy who ran straightly because I made it to hold my self in a balcony pavements and the guy is taking a rest under me.

Soon, after taking a few minutes of sitting down, he run again and turned left. It makes me so hurt because I was hanging my self for almost few minutes and he was just sitting there and taking a full rest. Then after he turned left, I jump over, took my scooter in my back and started rolling again. Then I run fast in the opposite direction where the guy turn left.

What surprise's me is when I came out with the endless streets, I recognize the place and I'm in the side view of Market Market, in Taguig City.

I scoot to Market Market, took a cab and went home to my parents in Makati. After I arrive, I immediately eat so much, I rested and I fell asleep in the couch. 

And that's when I woke up! 

My dream started when I was like taking the street with my scooter

and while I'm riding it, I saw this guy riding a bike with a side car with tons of things in it and he was so covered-up I can only see is his eyes and those eyes are scary. Then after that, the guy just pass me by and he run onwards (well I'm just pushing my scooter by foot and the bike is more efficient and easy to use) me immediately.

After getting into the end of the street, I started to went back and when I saw the guy in the bike again, he is now entering a house which clearly not his but I don't know why he's entering it then I just ignored it and I continue rolling my scooter. 

As I continue coming back and forth, the third time that I pass the guy, is, I already saw him going out of the house with a bag on his hands so again, I ignored him and I continue rolling.

So the forth time that I saw him, Once again, he is entering another house which clearly not his again and that makes me wonder why he's entering houses that is not his property and at that moment I stopped and I look at the first house where he came by.

As I come near the house, I saw the door open from the distance and I can see a silhouette of a girl inside that house then suddenly the girl scream when she opened up the lights because she saw a dead body lying in the living room. I was pretty startled at the time I heard the girl scream and from the right side I saw the guy riding a bike heading my way so I hide from a few ornamental grasses in front of the house so I can still be seeing everything that may happen inside, then my suspicion was right. 

The guy killed the girl in that first house where I saw him and she's on about to kill the girl who scream, as he entered the house he stabbed the girl few times and that makes me scared to 100% then when the girl was dead, I of course drop my scooter and that makes a sound that calls the attention of the killer. 

The killer immediately went near the grass to check it out then when he's on about to touch the center part of the grass, I hit him directly to the face with my scooter and I started running.

The guy is now chasing me because I saw a massacre that he just did, I scoot away running cross by cross, street by street because I never planned to go home because my family may also be in danger if that happened so I just scoot and run and scoot again as long as I can.

Then while scooting and running around, on one street I suddenly see two skater boys who skate with me like there is a competition and that brings us to my Dream #2.

This is the day where I just want to Thank everyone who really reads my blog every time that I have something shitty to post. I know not everything that I post is diamond and worth of your time but I know that each of every of my post are worthless so you really need to read each and everyone of it because that's just it. 

If you need to keep up then, it's on.

I am a person who is not really skeptical but in my terms I do know people who do and people who does not. I love people who can get along with me which is everybody and I know that is something I should be happy about so again, for sooooooooooooooooooo many reason that I can just tell because everything are the reason, I just want to Thank each and everyone.

From the bottom of my heart, I love you, from my team, which is my blog site editor and my post editor, I sincerely want to Thank you.

I love each and everyone of you :)

I don't know but that small thing makes me smile, there is something on me that tickles me to smile and yeah! Haha. Speechless!

Anyways, that's all I wanna say because I'm just so happy about it. I super love my Pangga! Not the love, love one but that kind of a love for your friend that you don't show to anyone else but him. 

Bye 💋

"Everything that I have said below this are true. i know it's too much but this is how I got hurt in your situation. Always remember that no matter what happen, my full support are for you. Remember that I won't change, I'll stay the same but as you read every single lines please let me help you. I love you okay? You're awesome "

THIS IS IT!

Each and everyone of us has their own way on how they will express their attractions to another person and I do express them not only by my sweet gestures but also with my words and interactions.

I have so many Turn ons and offs, especially for those guys who really catches my attention. (Why not? They might worth it.)

A guy from University of Santo Tomas (UST) sends this confession to one of the school's page, namely "The UST Files" in his confession, it is clear that he is telling his story with this girl that he once loved so much, the story was started way back their High School days until they got into college.

(Every guy reaches this stage where they wanted to explore, where they wanted to try everything and where they're not afraid to risk everything.)

This guy in the story meet that stage of being a guy. here is his story;

Today at Lakay Billiards, maybe, around quarter to 4 am, I and may bestfriend jepa arrive.

At first I was luring my eyes around and looking for a specific person, then I saw my friend that I call mommy Princess, I approach her and then in that instance, she pointed me my circle of friends. I was a bit surprise because I thought they were going somewhere else and not totally expecting them there. (I was totally expecting for someone else)

After Mommy Princess pointed them to me, I didn't directly go there because I first give some of my acquaintances a "Beso Beso" (cheek to cheek kiss) then after making sure that everyone receive their beso beso from me, I decided to go to them.

While getting near, few of them are noticing me and making good side comments about me arriving to their table but someone just caught my eyes.

I first notice that my Buds (Fred) were there. And that is something I'm not happy about because we were in this big issue about me getting drunk and making a scene everywhere and giving them a hard time to take care of me while I'm not totally in my right consciousness.

Then I suddenly feel the changing of ambiance because from loud and laughter some of them started to whisper to each other about things and stuff while me and my best friend were there and completely standing in front of them.

After a while of standing, we decided to sit. I sit behind Allen while Jeppa was right next to him. They were throwing each other topics about OJTs and I'm just listening to them then suddenly I started to focus on Buds because he's making faces while looking at me, Smiling in the most creepiest way while staring at me then laughing because of it.

Few moments later, after both me and Buds were not focused to each other, he called my name twice. Then I was like, making face of a confuse person about what to react about it. 

So later, my friend Anghelito ask me if I can sit beside Buds so that we can talk about the said issue. Without any hesitants I immediately transfer sit right next to my Buds and I guess that I just put myself in a complete hell. He's been so foolish with me. Asking about my name, giving his hand for a shake hands then whenever I am trying to reach for it he will be immediately be pulling his hands away. It happened twice, I am so offended that moment but I'm trying to understand the fact that I am the one who has a mistake here and I don't have any right to react. 

Then the further offense comes next. He said I was just nothing to him. The " me and him friendship thing" will never be fixed again. That I was just no one for him and I don't worth it. 

" It breaks me in a gazillion pieces. It offended me. It smacks me on my face. It was a kick on my face. I was about to cry and I'm totally hurt at that moment.

It hurts... It hurts so bad that makes me want to go tantrum and cry out loud but I choose not to. I choose not to because I was completely stuck in my chair, I can't barely move myself, there's no sound going out of my mouth and I'm frozen. "

After he said that, he and his other friends from other circle of friends with Tina (her younger sister) decided to go home. I can't make it to even stand at the moment, I was startled.

I just wanna cry after talking to him, because when I first visited Kubo (The place where we stay for vacant time) for this semester, there's nothing else I wanna do but just to talk to him, to talk to those people who are mad at me. I don't want to lose them, they are my precious priceless friends.

I just want this to end, I just want us to be back on that moment when we use to love and care for each other despite of many single arguments and fights that we have because this is just not us. Its like a Fred and Margaux in a very bad & different version.

Right now even if I'm mad at him because of everything that he said to me, I know deep inside he still care and I believe that, I believe him, I believe my instinct and I just wish that I'm right. (*Finger crossed*)

I just hope for the best because there's nothing I can do now. This is the process where I have to wait. This is where I have to wait for the day that he will finally be forgiving me for my mistakes. And if that day comes, I will do everything to regain the friendship that we used to have before.

And even if it means that I have to start over again... I will.

It's been quite a few months since my life went to a downward spiral, but now, everything is pretty much doing well. I mean, I am now enjoying my life, simply because I learned how to live simple. 

I learn that getting too much attached to something isn't good at all. 

"Chandelier"

Party girls don't get hurt
Can't feel anything, when will I learn
I push it down, push it down

I'm the one "for a good time call"
Phone's blowin' up, ringin' my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink

Throw 'em back 'til I lose count

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

Sun is up, I'm a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink

Throw 'em back 'til I lose count

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

On for tonight
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Oh I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight
On for tonight
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Oh I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight
On for tonight

Hi guys!

It's been a while since you last read something good and fresh here in my blog, and now that I might be active again, I have a little something to break the ice.

We all know that there are so many challenges everywhere, IG, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr have it and now we'll make it here. If other social network have photo challenges and stuff, we will be having a Writing Challenge. Can you keep up? Cu'z I did.

So here is my version of 30 DAY WRITING CHALLENGE