HOW TO UNLEARN THE LOVE YOU LEARNED FROM THE ONE YOU LOVED
For the past couple of months, a lot of things had happened. More on life full expectation and heartbreaks, I would say. It indeed put me on adrift where I thought I wouldn't be able to get out with.
And that is why I came up with this post, This life awakening post.
As you all know of what I'm talking about, It still goes down into this one crazy love-affair drive that I had with Mark. It has been happening for a couple of months and that undying love that I have for him is just something I cannot undo anymore. It's like the reset button got fried so eventually there's no way for me to go back.
Now, I am teaching myself How To Unlearn The Love You Learned From The One You Loved.
Based on how I look things on my own perspective, comparing to how 80% of the community looks at it. I have come up with 8 different ways that will be very effective for someone to use to unlearn everything from the love of his or her life.
1. DECLUTTER HIS/HER EVERYTHING
— One basic form of unlearning everything from that person that you once loved is by knowing everything that they have, that could remind them for you. Photos, Videos, Gifts, Places you go to are some things that will enable you to remember, but avoiding and removing it permanently in your life will definitely help.
2. SPEAK HIGHLY OF THEM
— I know most of you will pretty much say, why and how come I even gotten this idea, why do we have to do it and so, but come to think of it as a very therapeutical way of releasing negative endorphins in your body transforming them into one big positive endorphins.
Saying good things about them for others, making them look good instead of bad will help you heal much faster and will also help your surrounding to cope up with the fact that you yourself will not look aggravated about what is happening hence, you're helping yourself move on alongside with the people you care about.
3. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF BEING "CAUGHT-OFF-GUARD"
— You may think that you're in full wheel of fortune on moving on to what you currently have, but be aware that in this game, being caught-off-guard will take you back to Day One.Most specially if you're all thinking daisies and unicorns talking to your friends like nothing happens until you look sideways and see him/her looking at you will refresh your memories and will make you vulnerable like the way you are the first time you got hurt.
Always make sure to remind yourself everyday, that you are moving on to get better and it will not include him/her anymore.
4. CHOOSE BETWEEN IGNORE OR JUST AVOID THEM
— There are a lot of instances that you can never run away from only because you work or live near them so asking yourself either Ignore or Avoid them will be actually one most effective way possible to unlearn everything. It will not help you un-love them but it will cease you to learn more from them.
5. FIND YOUR HAPPY OUTLET
— Having your personal Happy Outlet would be necessary since one this phase you're going into is a never ending war with your emotions, one day you're good, the next day, you're a mess. So it is better for you to find yourself a happy pill that will constantly gonna make you happy and will help you catch those negativity as they come out of your system. It could be a friend, a hobby, a new set of diet or a new guy that will help you pass-through the phase.6. MAKE YOURSELF AS COLD AS POSSIBLE *NOT LITERALLY
— For you to unlearn everything, it's not only physically and mentally, it is also emotionally. So for you to get back up on your feet and for you to stand tall, be proud and be amazing for the second time around, you have to learn how to be cold. Never let your heart win this time. It's a game you should never be loosing at again, you can never afford to loose or else you'll wreck again. As you move on, you have to make yourself cold to your emotions.7. NEVER STOP ASKING YOURSELF "WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO THIS?"
— You may think that this one suggestion here is non-sense cos it won't help you but come to think of it. Everytime you get to cross eyes with him/her, everytime you saw him/her laughing, everytime you saw something that will remind you of him/her it will drag you back on being weak, hence you will not be able to continue working your way to the top on how you'll unlearn everything. It will bring you back to square one, which in fact never gonna be helpful because for the longest run, the only thing you wanted to happen is to move on.So every single time that something or someone reminds you of him/her, ask yourself " Why do you need to do this?"
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We have reached the last part of this post, you'll probably realise how to manage things from here and I'm sure you also have an action plan moving forward.
So before I cotinue with number 8, I just want you to know, that no matter how hard it is that you're facing right now, always remember that there are a lot of people who cares for you and love you that can help you.
Never take the road alone, I took the road alone. It makes me an everyday wreck, a day to day mess and a constant disappointment to myself because everytime I say to myself that I had moved on already, little do I realise as I saw him laugh again, BOOM! Back to square one, crying myself to sleep, helpless and powerless.
So my advice, is for you to seek help with those who you really love. They might not understand how it feels like, but they will never bail on you.
8. CONSTANT SELF APPRAISAL
— I know this is the only easy step but trust me, it's not. Moving on for someone you really love is never an easy thing, because everyday you will remember those moments/memories that you had together which is so much fun and so much laughter that makes you realise possible to happen, but never have given you any hint that it can go away like a snap.
So my final and last advise is to congratulate yourself to every little thing that you will accomplish while you're on the process of moving on. Even baby steps! Because it counts. Never fail to praise yourself for all the successful actions that you've been doing to make yourself better.
Always tell yourself how you love yourself and how much you'll give in, just to keep it that way.
Because at the end of the process of moving on, you'll realise one huge thing that you have forgotten to do is to "Love Yourself"
xo
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