" It's not about being who you are, it's about being who you REALLY are"

Life is not about being perfect at all but I know that I have to keep myself perfect just to fit into the society that I am with now on my life. 

My circle of friends are those people I cannot see to care for me but really cares for me. I don't know but there is something that really bother's me and that also keeps on pushing me to be the kind of person they want me to be. I know what they want for me is the only thing that will make a better me in the future but most of the time contradicts with what I want. I want to be complete and the only way for me to achieve that is to become a girl.  Yes I am a man, at the moment yes I am. I don't have a choice but maybe someday I will and that's what I'm pushing through my life now. I have to become a woman, I wanna feel how! I wanna feel how to become a woman not only to be feminine but to be as woman as well with my body. 

I don't know what to do right now. Maybe I'm just confused because I can't decide on my own. Maybe I'm just insecure because I keep on seeing man who is now a woman. Maybe I'm just envying every girl who have already tried to have a vagina. THEIR OWN VAGINA! I wanna have my own. I want to have one. 

One thing that I might see to be so fulfilling in my life is when a straight guy loves me because I am a girl. I want a straight guy to have a children with me, I wanna become his wife and I want to be called mom. 

That day that I have that, I'll be happy for my life. I'll be contented on my life, after that I will find the right path for me, a good career to focus on and a good life to settle with. It's not hard, I know God will not leave me alone on my decisions in life, maybe it's a big mistake for many and I know its a Big mistake for God. I know, before I even decided on this I knew it already. I have to face it, its part of the process and beside, its what I wanted and those consequences that I might face after, that's what I'll face alone. I have to. 

Now that this post has comes to an end. I have to thank everyone who would maybe finish reading this one. This is one of those special post for me that I have posted here.